This is too good not to share. I Couldnt stop laughing, so now its time for u guys to read.
In the email i received its just the Malay version. But i'm throwing in an extra bonus. I had this essay translated using Google translator =)
Can your STD 6 BM Karangan beat this?
Pagi itu pagi minggu. Cuaca cukup sejuk sehingga mencapai takat suhu beku. Sebab itu saya tidak mandi pagi sebab air kolah jadi air batu dan air paip tidak mahu keluar sebab beku di dalam batang paip. Pagi itu saya bersarapan dengan keluarga di dalam unggun api kerana tidak tahan sejuk. Selepas itu emak saya mengajak saya menemaninya ke pasar. Tetapi saya tidak mahu.
Selepas emak menikam perut saya berkali-kali dengan garfu barulah saya bersetuju untuk mengikutnya. Kami berjalan sejauh 120 kilometer kerana pasar itu letaknya 128 kilometer dari rumah. Lagi 8 kilometer nak sampai pasar saya ternampak sebuah lori kontena meluru dengan laju dari arah belakang.
Dia melanggar emak saya. Emak saya tercampak ke dalam gaung. Dia menjerit "Adoi!". Lepas itu emak saya naik semula dan mengejar lori tersebut. Saya pun turut berlari di belakang emak saya kerana takut emak saya melanggar lori itu pula. Pemandu lori itu nampak kami mengejarnya. Dia pun memecut lebih laju iaitu sama dengan kelajuan cahaya. Kami pula terpaksa mengejar dengan lebih laju iaitu sama dengan dua kali ganda kelajuan cahaya. Emak saya dapat menerajang tayar depan lori itu. Lori itu terbabas dan melanggar pembahagi jalan lalu bertembung dengan sebuah feri. Feri itu terbelah dua.
Penumpang feri itu yang seramai 100 orang semuanya mati. Pemandu feri itu sangat marah. Dia pun bertukar menjadi Ultraman dan memfire pemandu lori. Pemandu lori menekan butang khas di dalam lori dia..lori itu bertukar menjadi robot Transformer. Mereka bergaduh di udara. Emak saya tidak puas hati. Dia! pun terus menyewa sebuah helikopter di Genting Highlands dan terus ke tempat kemalangan. Dia melanggar pemandu feri yang telah bertukar menjadi Ultraman itu.
Pemandu feri itu terkejut dan terus bertukar menjadi pemandu feri semula lalu terhempas ke jalanraya. Pemandu feri itu pecah. Pemandu lori sangat takut melihat kejadian itu. Dia meminta maaf dari emak saya. Dia menghulurkan tangan ingin bersalam. Tetapi emak saya masih marah. Dia menyendengkan helikopternya dan mengerat tangan pemandu lori itu dengan kipas helikopter. Pemandu lori itu menjerit "Adoi..!" dan jatuh ke bumi. Emak say menghantar helikopter itu ke Genting Highlands. Bila dia balik ke tempat kejadian, dia terus memukul pemandu lori itu dengan beg tangannya sambil memarahi pemandu lori itu di dalam bahasa Inggeris.
Pemandu lori itu tidak dapat menjawab sebab emak saya cakap orang putih. Lalu pemandu lori itu mati. Tidak lama kemudian kereta polis pun sampai. Dia membuat lapuran ke ibu pejabatnya tentang kemalangan ngeri itu. Semua anggota polis di pejabat polis itu terperanjat lalu mati. Orang ramai mengerumuni tempat kejadian kerana ingin mengetahui apa yang telah terjadi. Polis yang bertugas cuba menyuraikan orang ramai lalu dia menjerit menggunakan pembesar suara. Orang ramai terperanjat dan semuanya mati.
Selepas itu emak saya mengajak saya ke pasar untuk mengelak lebih ramai lagi yang akan mati. Di pasar, emak saya menceritakan kejadian itu kepada penjual daging. Penjual daging dan peniaga-peniaga berhampiran yang mendengar cerita itu semuanya terkejut dan mati. Saya dan emak saya terus berlari balik ke rumah. Kerana terlalu penat sebaik saja sampai di rumah kami pun mati. Itulah kemalangan yang paling ngeri yang pernah saya lihat sebelum saya mati.
***************
Now for the English version, as translated by Google
Am the morning the week. Weather cold enough to reach freezing point temperature. So I do not shower in the morning because the pits so the water ice and water pipes do not want to leave because of frozen pipes in the... See more trunk. That morning I breakfasted with the family at the bonfire did not hold the cold. After that my mother asked me to accompany him to the market. But I do not want.
After my mother stabbed my stomach repeatedly with a fork then I agreed to accordingly. We walked as far as the market is 120 kilometers located 128 kilometers from home. Another eight kilometers to the market like I saw a truck container with a speed rush from the rear.
He violates my mother. My mother was thrown into the canyon. He shouted "Adoi!". Then my mother and pick up the chase truck. I have also ran behind my mother for fear that my mother is violating trucks. Truck driver saw us chase. He sped over the speed that is equal to the speed of light. We had to catch up with more speed that is equal to twice the speed of light. My mother can menerajang front wheels of the lorry. Chevrolet trucks and violating the median and collided with a ferry. Ferry is split up in two.
Passenger ferry which a total of 100 all died. The ferry was very angry. He turned into Ultraman and memfire truck driver. Truck driver pressing a special button in his truck .. truck is transformed into the robot Transformer. They fight in the air. My mother is not satisfied. He! continues to rent a helicopter in Genting Highlands, and continue to the scene of the accident. He violates the ferry driver turns the Ultraman.
The ferry was shocked and continued to turn the ferry and the driver crashed into the road. The ferry was broken. Truck drivers are afraid to see the incident. He asked forgiveness from my mother. He reaches out to greet. But my mother was still angry. He cut off the hands of tilting helikopternya and truck drivers with helicopter propellers. The lorry driver was shouting "Adoi ..!" and fell to the ground. My mother say to send helicopters to the Genting Highlands. When he returned to the scene, he continued to hit the driver with his hand bag as angry with the driver of the lorry in the English language.
The lorry driver was unable to answer because my mother told white people. Then the truck driver dead. Not long after the police car already arrived. He made the report to the headquarters of the horrific accident. All police officers in the police office was shocked and died. Members of the public around the scene and wanted to know what happened. Police on duty tried to disperse the people and he shouted with loud voice. The public was shocked and all died.
After that my mother asked me to market to prevent more people will die. In the market, my mother told the incident to the butcher. Butchers and traders close to the hear the story are all shocked and died. I and my mother continued to run back into the house. Because they are too tired once we arrived at the house of death. That's the most horrific accident I have ever seen before I die.
Boodyboy, out!!!
Tuesday, June 29, 2010
B O O D Y B L O G: FIFA World Cup 2010 : My Prediction for Round of 16 #4
I could have almost gotten the Netherlands vs Slovakia score right. If only they didnt concede the last minute penalty. The Dutch performed to my expectations and duly deserved their victory.
The Brazil vs Chile game was easy to predict as well. Nothing too challenging for the Brazillian team. They will definitely face a stiffer test against the Dutch next round.
TOnight's games:
Paraguay vs Japan
Paraguay emerged as surprise group winners but the truly deserved their place with good attacking football. However, they do not have the goals to show for it. Same can be said with Japan. They were not expected to do well as they lost form just before the World Cup, but they played some enterprising football for the past 2 weeks. They have great set piece takers and Paraguay should not concede fouls near the penalty box.
While I truly hope for Japan to go thru, i think Paraguay has the firepower to beat the Japanese. This match might go to extra time with Paraguayans edging this by a goal. 1-0 or 2-1
Spain vs Portugal
Match of the Knockout round. Also match of the tournament so far. Since the Portugal vs Brazil match was a farce to watch. THis should be good for neutral fans as it is the knockout rounds. 2 attacking minded teams with lots to prove. Europeans Champs Sapin will now try to live up to their favourite tags in this game while Portuguese does not want to go home so early, not by losing to their neighbours.
I expect a freeflowing football from both sides and hopefully goals galore. Hopefully Torres will find his goal scoring form in this game. This game is too difficult to predict as I think both teams are evenly matched on their day.
2-1 to Spain or 4-2.
Boodyboy, out!!!
The Brazil vs Chile game was easy to predict as well. Nothing too challenging for the Brazillian team. They will definitely face a stiffer test against the Dutch next round.
TOnight's games:
Paraguay vs Japan
Paraguay emerged as surprise group winners but the truly deserved their place with good attacking football. However, they do not have the goals to show for it. Same can be said with Japan. They were not expected to do well as they lost form just before the World Cup, but they played some enterprising football for the past 2 weeks. They have great set piece takers and Paraguay should not concede fouls near the penalty box.
While I truly hope for Japan to go thru, i think Paraguay has the firepower to beat the Japanese. This match might go to extra time with Paraguayans edging this by a goal. 1-0 or 2-1
Spain vs Portugal
Match of the Knockout round. Also match of the tournament so far. Since the Portugal vs Brazil match was a farce to watch. THis should be good for neutral fans as it is the knockout rounds. 2 attacking minded teams with lots to prove. Europeans Champs Sapin will now try to live up to their favourite tags in this game while Portuguese does not want to go home so early, not by losing to their neighbours.
I expect a freeflowing football from both sides and hopefully goals galore. Hopefully Torres will find his goal scoring form in this game. This game is too difficult to predict as I think both teams are evenly matched on their day.
2-1 to Spain or 4-2.
Boodyboy, out!!!
Monday, June 28, 2010
FIFA World Cup 2010 : My Prediction for Round of 16 #3
Predicted the Argentina – Mexico game right. It was a pretty good match and after 4 2nd round matches, the quality of the matches has improved tremendously. Nobody is complaining about the ball now. The ball has been and will always be an excuse for poor performance.
The England game was a shocker. Some people have claimed that it is no surprise since England has not played well at all in the World Cup. While I know that to be a fact, I was surprised at how naïve the English players were. They were caught on the counter attack numerous times and 3 of the goals they conceded were from counter attacks.
I get that you must chase the game when you are a goal or 2 down, but that doesn’t mean that the other team will just sit back all the time and wait for wave and waves of attacks to come in. The defence literally went to sleep when England were attacking. Kudos to Germany though, they played precision, sharp and quick football. Much like German technology ;-p
On to tonight’s match predictions!
Brazil vs Chile
Brazil have beaten Chile in the previous 2 meetings. Both are good attacking teams but I feel that Brazil would have fresher players after resting several players in their last group game against Portugal.
Robinho, Elano, Kaka all will return to the team tonight and I think that Brazil will have too much for Chile to handle. While Brazil have not been the best defensive team, Dunga has so far been able to keep it tight at the back. Chile will have to work really hard tonight just to break the Brazillian defence.
Brazil to win this by 2 goals. 2-0 or 3-1
Holland vs Slovakia
The Slovakians are the surprise package from the team which consisted of Paraguay and Italy. They comfortably beat the very poor Italians 3-2 in the final game to qualify for this round. While they look dangerous and and a high work rate, I don’t think they can overcome the Dutch.
The Dutch emerged from their group with a perfect record of 3 wins and I see them extending their run in this game. They are a very good attacking side and have not conceded a goal in 3 games. Robben is fit to play although I think they want to protect him and call upon him only when they need him.
Holland to win this by 2 goals as well, but game may go to extra time. 2-0, 3-1
Boodyboy, out!!!
The England game was a shocker. Some people have claimed that it is no surprise since England has not played well at all in the World Cup. While I know that to be a fact, I was surprised at how naïve the English players were. They were caught on the counter attack numerous times and 3 of the goals they conceded were from counter attacks.
I get that you must chase the game when you are a goal or 2 down, but that doesn’t mean that the other team will just sit back all the time and wait for wave and waves of attacks to come in. The defence literally went to sleep when England were attacking. Kudos to Germany though, they played precision, sharp and quick football. Much like German technology ;-p
On to tonight’s match predictions!
Brazil vs Chile
Brazil have beaten Chile in the previous 2 meetings. Both are good attacking teams but I feel that Brazil would have fresher players after resting several players in their last group game against Portugal.
Robinho, Elano, Kaka all will return to the team tonight and I think that Brazil will have too much for Chile to handle. While Brazil have not been the best defensive team, Dunga has so far been able to keep it tight at the back. Chile will have to work really hard tonight just to break the Brazillian defence.
Brazil to win this by 2 goals. 2-0 or 3-1
Holland vs Slovakia
The Slovakians are the surprise package from the team which consisted of Paraguay and Italy. They comfortably beat the very poor Italians 3-2 in the final game to qualify for this round. While they look dangerous and and a high work rate, I don’t think they can overcome the Dutch.
The Dutch emerged from their group with a perfect record of 3 wins and I see them extending their run in this game. They are a very good attacking side and have not conceded a goal in 3 games. Robben is fit to play although I think they want to protect him and call upon him only when they need him.
Holland to win this by 2 goals as well, but game may go to extra time. 2-0, 3-1
Boodyboy, out!!!
Observations during the World Cup 2010
Its the third week of World Cup in South Africa and over here, there is a huge following.
Its a once in 4 years thing where even non fans and most importantly women, suddenly become football fans. No doubt, this is a great way to break ice among strangers. Just talking about football and easily the conversations will get going. There has not been abetter time to get to know a person better than using the World Cup as a starting point.
It is also the time when people of all ages and races unites at restaurants, cafes,pubs, bars, to watch football. We share our joys and grief together. It is definitely a true 1 Malaysian spirit that our politicians aim to achieve.
ANother thing that I've noticed is the amount of "coffee shop talk".
Well this obviously stems from the above ice breaking conversations made lah.
Suddenly every1, regardless of whether they have ever kicked a ball in their life, to transform into a football pundit. They can tell you the formation, the tactics, who is on form and etc.
But the funny part is that sometimes these people are jsut trying to makes sense to themselves. When you've played football before, you would understand the basics and that it is definitely not an easy game to play. Cursing other for being losy when one has never kicked a ball in their life is a big no-no for me.
Well, actually i've been guilty of playing the role of football pundit myself, but hey, i've played the game for many and still do. I also follow the game quite closely, so in total i've played football for about 15 years now. I won't say I'm a great pundit like those we see on ESPN, but hey, I do understand the concepts lah~~~
What I even hate most during this time is people who gamble and curse everytime the team he or she backs misses a glorious chance. YOu will hear them curse non stop. Dude, if you wanna gamble, you gotta be preprared to lose. And please, if you don't love the game there is no need for you to show disrespect to the other people who love to watch football on its own. Football is already a great sport, there is no need for gamblers like you to exist. Your sad pathetic excuse that gambling makes football exciting is outdated and dumb. its obvious that you do not enjoy football, and do not enjoy how much goes on on the field. People only gamble in football esp. during the World Cup types are ppl who just dont wanna feel left out in the enthusiasm of the game. To make them feel more enthusiastic than the average fan, they gamble. That way they feel the "kan cheong"ness of every moment in the game. Utter rubbish!
There are also a huge amount of sleepy workers turning up at the office every morning, no thanks to the world cup. This only happens once in 4 years and it is quite funny to hear the sleepy colleagues talk about the game they stayed up to watch in the wee hours of the morning.
Oh, World Cup is also a time when we football fan do not have to suffer from the dreaded football withdrawal syndrome everytime the European leagues season ends. With the World cup, we only get like a months break from football =)
ANyways, those are my observations so far. Might add to the list as i think about it.
Boodyboy, out!!!
Its a once in 4 years thing where even non fans and most importantly women, suddenly become football fans. No doubt, this is a great way to break ice among strangers. Just talking about football and easily the conversations will get going. There has not been abetter time to get to know a person better than using the World Cup as a starting point.
It is also the time when people of all ages and races unites at restaurants, cafes,pubs, bars, to watch football. We share our joys and grief together. It is definitely a true 1 Malaysian spirit that our politicians aim to achieve.
ANother thing that I've noticed is the amount of "coffee shop talk".
Well this obviously stems from the above ice breaking conversations made lah.
Suddenly every1, regardless of whether they have ever kicked a ball in their life, to transform into a football pundit. They can tell you the formation, the tactics, who is on form and etc.
But the funny part is that sometimes these people are jsut trying to makes sense to themselves. When you've played football before, you would understand the basics and that it is definitely not an easy game to play. Cursing other for being losy when one has never kicked a ball in their life is a big no-no for me.
Well, actually i've been guilty of playing the role of football pundit myself, but hey, i've played the game for many and still do. I also follow the game quite closely, so in total i've played football for about 15 years now. I won't say I'm a great pundit like those we see on ESPN, but hey, I do understand the concepts lah~~~
What I even hate most during this time is people who gamble and curse everytime the team he or she backs misses a glorious chance. YOu will hear them curse non stop. Dude, if you wanna gamble, you gotta be preprared to lose. And please, if you don't love the game there is no need for you to show disrespect to the other people who love to watch football on its own. Football is already a great sport, there is no need for gamblers like you to exist. Your sad pathetic excuse that gambling makes football exciting is outdated and dumb. its obvious that you do not enjoy football, and do not enjoy how much goes on on the field. People only gamble in football esp. during the World Cup types are ppl who just dont wanna feel left out in the enthusiasm of the game. To make them feel more enthusiastic than the average fan, they gamble. That way they feel the "kan cheong"ness of every moment in the game. Utter rubbish!
There are also a huge amount of sleepy workers turning up at the office every morning, no thanks to the world cup. This only happens once in 4 years and it is quite funny to hear the sleepy colleagues talk about the game they stayed up to watch in the wee hours of the morning.
Oh, World Cup is also a time when we football fan do not have to suffer from the dreaded football withdrawal syndrome everytime the European leagues season ends. With the World cup, we only get like a months break from football =)
ANyways, those are my observations so far. Might add to the list as i think about it.
Boodyboy, out!!!
I Should Have Known Better - She and Him
This song is originally sung by the Beatles. I like this version by She & Him(comprises of the actress Zooey Deschanel and a guitarist M. Ward). It has a very Hawaiian island feel to it. Very laid back lifestyle and lying down by the beach, thats how the song feels to me.
Its just a simple song about how a person has fallen in love with girl, simply because the girl loves to be herself and is not pretentious. He then asks for her to return his affections...
I should have known better with a girl like you
That I would love everything that you do
And I do, hey, hey, hey, and I do.
Whoa, whoa, I never realized what a kiss could be
This could only happen to me;
Can't you see, can't you see?
That when I tell you that I love you, oh,
You're gonna say you love me too, hoo, hoo, hoo, hoo, oh,
And when I ask you to be mine,
You're gonna say you love me too.
So, I should have realized a lot of things before
If this is love you've gotta give me more
Give me more, hey hey hey, give me more
Whoa, whoa, I never realized what a kiss could be
This could only happen to me
Can't you see, can't you see?
That when I tell you that I love you, oh
You're gonna say you love me too, oh
And when I ask you to be mine,
You're gonna say you love me too,
You love me too
You love me too
You love me too
Boodyboy, out!!!
Its just a simple song about how a person has fallen in love with girl, simply because the girl loves to be herself and is not pretentious. He then asks for her to return his affections...
I should have known better with a girl like you
That I would love everything that you do
And I do, hey, hey, hey, and I do.
Whoa, whoa, I never realized what a kiss could be
This could only happen to me;
Can't you see, can't you see?
That when I tell you that I love you, oh,
You're gonna say you love me too, hoo, hoo, hoo, hoo, oh,
And when I ask you to be mine,
You're gonna say you love me too.
So, I should have realized a lot of things before
If this is love you've gotta give me more
Give me more, hey hey hey, give me more
Whoa, whoa, I never realized what a kiss could be
This could only happen to me
Can't you see, can't you see?
That when I tell you that I love you, oh
You're gonna say you love me too, oh
And when I ask you to be mine,
You're gonna say you love me too,
You love me too
You love me too
You love me too
Boodyboy, out!!!
Sunday, June 27, 2010
Value of Honorific Titles in Malaysia
**The above is a picture of the Sultan of Brunei handing out an award to an unknown recipient**
Scenes like the one above is very common in Malaysia. Sultans of Malaysian states give out Honorific titles on their birthday to people he deems to have served the country / state / His Majesty's cause / making the country proud. Now as far as I know, there is no properly outlined criteria for how these people get their titles. It is generally very vague and up to the His Highness's decision.
He can give and take back the titles as he sees fit.
If you need an example to see has been the casualty of having their titles taken back, look no further than our former MCA man, Chua Jui Meng (pardon the lack of Datuk; already taken back mah...).
Not much reason was given as to why his was taken back, except that the Sultan of Johor see it fit.
Back to the main point I was trying to make. I do feel that our esteemed Sultans are giving away too many titles. Seeing yesterdays news that the Sultan of Pahang giving out 164 awards on His Majesty's Birthday leaves me a bit uneasy (click on the link to read the news).
If my memory serves me right, 10 states out of the 14 in Malaysia has Rulers that can bestow titles upon outstanding individuals. Now if each of them gives out at least 50 titles a year,t hat works out to be 500 individuals with a minimum of a Datukship a year. In 10 years, we'd have 5000 all over the streest of Malaysia.
In my opinion, I think by then (in fact by now) the value of a honorific title will diminish. In fact there are several unsavoury characters that still hold these titltes despite being found guilty of immoral / illegal acts. Hence that is why there is a negative public perception regarding Datuks. Most will assume them to be power grabbing rich people, who are above every1 else. In fact some of them actually think they are much better than us regular citizens. They will make it a point that ordinary people like us are 2nd class citizens and should be segregated.
In the end, I believe that these titles should be given out sparingly. I would hope that it would be akin to the one given out by the Queen of United kingdom, where not many people will receive knighthoods (which carries the title Sir). That way, people will respect the achievement of the person which carries such a title as it is very difficult to achieve. Either that, or we should totallys crap this "caste" style honorific system. Every1 is equal, whether you are rich or poor, smart or other wise.
We are born equal, and as such, we deserve the same treatment and cannot be treated as second class citizens. If the only use of these titles are for lisuse and malpractice, I believe we should scrap it. It is supposed to be used as a recognition for outstanding service, and I still believe it should be so.
I do hope by the time i receive a Datukship, it is still something that the society looks up upon. =)
Boodyboy, out!!!
FIFA World Cup 2010 : My Prediction for Round of 16 #2
I was quite impressed by South Korea's determination last night. Of course, based on the game we saw, neither team deserved to lose, but thats how football works. the Koreans have nothing to be ashamed of, they played really well and if they continue to progress in terms of football development, it won't be a surprise if they go further in the next World Cup.
I expected an American victory last night, but it went in to extra time and the Americans lost concentration right after the kick off whistle. It's a shame but Ghana has worked hard and will now face the in form Uruguay in the quarter finals.
My predictions for tonight:
England vs Germany
A fierce rivalry in football that streteches back to at least half a century ago. I'm not sure if the football is going to be as good as the intense rivalry among supporter. Germany has had a start-stop campaign so far while England only managed to squeeze into the round of 16 by the skin of thier teeth.
Crashing out at this stage will be considered a failure for either team, so victory is a must. I do have a feeling that this game will go into extra time. England has great individual players while Germans have exceptional teamwork and work rate. If it oes to penalties I'd favour Germany as Englad still has a poor record at this stage.
England to win this 3-2, or 2-1. Penalties will be Germany.
Argentina vs Mexico
2 good attacking teams will play each other tonight. Both are in goalscoring form and at the same time, both are not known for their defensive abilities. I really hope that this game will be a high scoring game, for the sake of the viewers and me as well. This could be the match of the tournament so far if both throw caution to the wind. The edge of course lies with Argentina, who have a host of attacking talent. Any football club would dream of having their line up.
Argentina to win this by 2 goals. 3-1 or 4-2
Boodyboy, out!!!
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