...I had earlier while i was watching tv and reading the papers. now that i've sat myself in front of the computer my mind goes blank. What the hell did i want to talk about just now? Oh well, since i've forgotten, might as well continue some random blabber. Well the only thing i managed to remember is i wanted to say something like, erm,... well it would contain a paragraph like this:-
" I'm a ship, out in the sea, in the eye of a storm. In the total darkness i seek the warm rays of light house. Looking for a port to call home. Suddenly, i catch a sight of the light in the distance and then i start to steer towards the lighthouse, thinking that it would lead me to salvation. And once i'm close, the light suddenly goes off! And now i'm lost again, knowing i'm near land but also in grave danger cause i might be near the cliffs or shallow water, which will cause my boat to run aground. Now the my ship is left in a more precarious situation, just as lost, but in more danger than i previously was."
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Wasn't that deep? LOL!!
Oh well, anyways, since i cant remember, back to some random rambling below:-
1. People who make plans are people who are very insecure. Had they been so sure of themselves, they never have to plan anything at all. it would just fall into place or things will work out themselves. Wrong!!! The people who dont bother to make any plans are people who usually take things for granted. They always think that things will always work in their favour and they should just wing it. When things dont go their way, some will whine about it. Don't whine, you probably deserve it. These people are probably too spoilt cause they have things their way too often that they can't appreciate the fact that life is uncertain and that not everything will go your way if you don't plan for them to work in your favour.
2. Somethings cannot be taken for granted. This especially applies to some ppl who are not grateful for what they have already. Sometimes it is jsut right in front of them all the time and they continue whining and complaining. They forget how lucky they are and how well people have treated them. Yet they do nothing in return and expect people to treat them the same way. And finally, when the other party gets sick of being under appreciated and decides to move on, then the person (might) realise that they have not been putting up enough effort or showing enough gratitude all along. To those who have learnt their lesson and have made changes to their lives, I salute you for realising that the world does not revolve around you. Start paying attention to the people around you, especially to those who have been treating you well. Give them the credit they deserve, not just lip service. To those who still dont learn, well they wouldn't know what hit them anyway. they would still continue complaining but now to a different person who is willing to listen as the others who used to stand by them has left for good. That person wouldnt even know that this paragraph is dedicated to them even as they read it now. ;-p
3. Be honest and truthful to yourself and everyone you love. Dont give people false hope or even worse, leave them hanging by a thread. When you have chosen some1 to love, please do not go and continue leaving your heart open to other people. That would be unfair for the people you love and the people who love you. If you cant be fair to them, be honest, at the very least. Don't ever settle for them and use the excuse i" did it only because of you" shit to them. Not only is it insulting to them, it hurts as hell. If you can't grow up and decide what you want in a relationship, then don't get into one. Cause it would be akin to letting a kid play with fire. SOmebody's gonna get some real hurtin'.
3.5 And again, dont ever tell people what they want to hear jsut because you feel "obligated" to tell them. Dont tell them things you dont really mean (sometimes, people do it, out of compassion and love i.e. You are a really good singer). Telling them these lies and encouraging them will only lead them to believe that what you make of them is really true. And when they finally find out that it was wrong or fake, you will break the persons heart and could as well, embarass the person.
4. Had dinner with my friend earlier and we started chatting. And one of the things I told him was to start acting like an adult. We are all adults and if we wish to be treated as one, we need to show that we are capable of making decisions, no matter how painful that is. Being an adult means making decisions and being responsible for them. Avoiding responsibilities is just plain childish. Of course a lot of things make you feel good. But you cant have them all, and thats a fact of life.
4.5 Just because you want everything that feels good to you doesnt mean it is fair for others. We are not 5 year olds. We cannot play with one toy and then, at the next moment pick up another toy we like, or play with all the toys just because it makes us feel good. You cannot just simply dump toys everywhere as and when you like and pick them up whenever you feel like it. You are in fact being selfish as you are only thinking of yourself. Have you thought of how others will feel when they find out you are taking more than your fair share? There is a saying in hokkien, which when loosely translated means, when you are a soldier, you cannot be afraid of the gun. What that means is that you must know what you are getting yourself into and cannot be afraid of the consequences.
5. Sigh, but then again, who am i to say so many things and try to teach people how to behave? I'm not that good of a person after all. I am after all, been known to some people as a murderer or killer. And no, it doesn't sit well with me after i found out about the gravity of what i have done. Maybe the reason i am where i am is because i deserved it. And i always wondered what i did to deserve to be in the situation i am in. I have always thought i have not done much wrong and sin in my life. But I just realised tonight, there are things i have done last time without a blink of the eye and I have changed history somewhat. I guess if this is the punishment for what i have done sometime ago, i guess i shouldn't complain after all, since it isn't so bad compared to what i've done. Its probably bad karma coming back to bite me. I guess thats what happens to people who destroy the fruits of other people's labour.
6. Now that I've jsut realised the gravity of my mistake, I dont know how i'm going to live the rest of my life. It didnt seem like a mistake, and it doesnt feel like a mistake, but that doesnt mean it isn't. I really thought i did the right thing at that moment in time. To save lives. At the expense of others. I guess having all the money in the world wouldnt save me from what i;ve done, but i guess, i'll jsut have to live my life and try to make as much amends as i can while i am still living and breathing.
7. I guess i deserve what i'm getting at the moment. I cant complain. I was given a ray of light. I followed the light from the lighthouse. I believed that it would finally take me home. Now the lights are fading and i'm getting worried. What should i do? The signals are weak, and i'm left grasping at hopes that i would find home, but now am in more despair then ever. Do i deserve a stronger light from the lighthouse? I don't know. maybe thats what i deserve to get. Payback's a b****! Sigh, just karma, i guess.
Boodyboy, out [for the count :-( ]!!!
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