You are not just another person

Neither am I.

None of us are "just another person".

We are also never every1's best friend and neither are we every1's enemy. In fact, even criminals have friends and family who love and care about them. We are who we are. But there are also time we become the person we are in different situations. Not all criminals have that bad ass attitude 24/7. Sometimes its just their way of making a living. Sometimes it is how they perceive the way they should lead their life (twisted or evil as they may be).

But I'm not here to talk about criminal psychology. Rather the thing that is at the top of my mind is how people's behaviour or needs/wants are triggered when they meet different people.

Lets just say in a typical social circle that we have (maybe big or small doesnt matter), we have normal acquaintaces, friends, close friends / best friends as well as our boyfriend and girlfriends. When we meet our acquaintances or friends, we have something in common which we agree upon or they offer something to us that allows us to enjoy their company. And that is how you see them, as friends. Some may mean nothing more to you than others.

Next you have very close friends, friends that you share a lot more in common with. You even share your life stories with them, your ups and downs and everything else. However, there are still certain wants and situations that they may dream of, which you do not fulfill their criteria. As much as they are great in all sorts of ways, there is just still something that doesnt ignite that spark.

I guess that spark is the spark where men suddenly realise its the end of their bachelorhood. When they meet some1 who will make them all mushy and yes, that feeling that they are ready for a lifelong commitment (of course, some nvr have that feeling ;-p). For women, maybe its the realisation that their childhood dream of a dream wedding will come true. Or the fact that they have found the person who just has "The One" factor.

The spark is never apparent when you are with your friends nor close friends. Some may always be on the lookout for this spark (including yours truly) while some may have them buried deep inside.

Watching 500 Days of Summer (watched it a couple of times already) allowed me to understand this "spark" factor better. In this movie, A is a guy who thinks he found the girl of his life when he meets B, a charming pretty girl. They hit it off right away, and he feels like she has the spark. He feels like she's the girl that he has been waiting for all his life.

However, through the ups and downs of their time together, it seems that to B, A doesnt have that spark, no matter how charming he was. A always tried his best to show her that he was "the one" for her cause in his eyes, he has found the spark in her. In the end thru much heartbreak, they broke off with B telling A that she was never the marryking kind.

Fast forward a few years later, their paths crossed, and while A is still searching for "the one", B has gotten married. A asked B how could she marry another guy when she told him that she wasnt the marrying kind. B mentioned that in fact, she had found her "spark" when she bumped into her current husband. B told A that A was right all along. She would get married someday, but she just didnt see it in him.

****

I guess this is true in real life. Sometimes things dont work out and you always wonder why or how it went wrong. Sometimes, its 2 really great persons who got together but somehow, things never quite worked out. While it is always easy to point fingers, sometimes it could just be that either 1 of them doesnt see the "spark" in the other. Sometimes we may try too hard, in the end trying to shift blames to every1. YOu may feel that everything felt so right, so how can it ever be wrong? However, only you feel that way.

The spark. THat feeling that u seem to know you've found the right person. Its a very good feeling to have, but remember that it is a 2 way relationship. if the other party doesnt see the spark in you, no matter how much you want it, it won't work out. And without doubt, the hurt that comes with it, is of course, very painful.

Soemtimes, it makes one wonder if they should ever try and find that spark again, for the happiness it brings is immense. However, they are those who shy away for fear of being hurt again.

Oh well, its been a very long post. Not sure if many read this far... hehehe.

But its great that i've penned this, cause this topic has been in my head for a few days now.


Boodyboy, out!!