The Truth is...

THE truth is that although people say it’s easy to tell the truth, the fact is that it’s never easy to say it. Especially when you know the truth hurts, creates ill feelings, causes anger, mistrust, and in certain cases turn friends into enemies.

Of course, it is important to distinguish between what is the truth and the perception of the person towards you. If its perception, then it probably shouldn’t bother you so much as each person has a different appeal towards another person. Everybody bears different feelings for each other, even best friends. However, the truth, no matter how nicely it is put, sometimes just hurts simply because no1 told you about it all this time, or its from some1 close to you.

Of course a fine example would be the people who join the American Idol auditions. Some of them actually think they can sing when the fact is that almost every1 agrees they can’t sing to save their lives. When they are told of this truth, they become really angry, and their reactions vary from person to person. But of course we can see that these people will try to deny the fact that they aren’t good singers. Some of course do it because of their relatives’ encouragement, although I think this is wrong. To give your family member false hope, even though the intention is good, may only make the person happy for a while, until, of course, the day he learns that he is actually not good enough. Then he will continue living the life with that disillusion despite the fact that the general public tells him that he ain’t good enough. And he still perseveres. Why? Because that person’s family members love that person so much that they couldn’t bear to tell him the truth. That he just simply isn’t good enough.

Of course one cannot blame the family for loving that person too much, but of course by encouraging it, the situation becomes worse. Little do they know that what they do today will have a long term effect on their member. The poor person will live life with a disillusion, thinking that he/she is right all along. He/she may even be angry or defiant when told otherwise because, that’s what his family members are telling him that there isn’t anything wrong.

I hate to be critical of people, partly because of the reasons mentioned above and partly because I couldn’t care less about most of the people I know. I don’t care if they have flaws. But the flaws of people whom I care matter to me most. Its not like I’m the most perfect person on earth. I have to admit that no human is perfect, hence the perfect human should have some form of imperfection. But still, its because I care for these people that I feel that I should voice out my concerns for them.

The thing that is holding me back sometimes is because of the reasons mentioned earlier. I’m afraid that I might hurt the person’s feelings or worse, the person becomes defensive. By being defensive it means that person is not going to accept your comments and is flatly rejecting it. Then as such, giving your 2 cents worth is actually worth nothing at all. Not only do you fail to help the person change or realize the need for a self assessment, you have now created hatred against you. The person is probably thinking that you are making an unfair comment.

Sigh… the dilemma we face when we’re about to tell a person the truth. Yes, sometimes reality sucks. And we hate to be the person to tell them that. Well unless you’re some heartless person or Simon Cowell lah. Simon would probably defend himself against this statement by saying he’s the only person who dares to tell people the truth. And maybe, just maybe, by today’s standards, telling the truth has become harsh. Maybe it’s because we’re too used to being obliging and courteous that to state the simple truth is to be harsh.

So you see, it’s a very confusing world we live in today. Most of the time I keep my mouth shut. I don’t want to hurt somebody’s feelings or lose a friend. Sometimes it’s better for them to continue living in that disillusion. But sometimes I just feel like I can’t take it anymore. I can’t let that person continue living their lives like that. I have to do something, even if it means being the bad guy.

Can some1 tell me if it’s wrong for me to want to change a person for the better?

And what if the person refuses to change? Should I just let them be? Or even worse, forget about them. Since they don’t want to help themselves, no point helping them?

Sigh….

Boodyboy, out!!!