Emails I get from my friends

This is too good not to share. I Couldnt stop laughing, so now its time for u guys to read.
In the email i received its just the Malay version. But i'm throwing in an extra bonus. I had this essay translated using Google translator =)

Can your STD 6 BM Karangan beat this?


Pagi itu pagi minggu. Cuaca cukup sejuk sehingga mencapai takat suhu beku. Sebab itu saya tidak mandi pagi sebab air kolah jadi air batu dan air paip tidak mahu keluar sebab beku di dalam batang paip. Pagi itu saya bersarapan dengan keluarga di dalam unggun api kerana tidak tahan sejuk. Selepas itu emak saya mengajak saya menemaninya ke pasar. Tetapi saya tidak mahu.
Selepas emak menikam perut saya berkali-kali dengan garfu barulah saya bersetuju untuk mengikutnya. Kami berjalan sejauh 120 kilometer kerana pasar itu letaknya 128 kilometer dari rumah. Lagi 8 kilometer nak sampai pasar saya ternampak sebuah lori kontena meluru dengan laju dari arah belakang.

Dia melanggar emak saya. Emak saya tercampak ke dalam gaung. Dia menjerit "Adoi!". Lepas itu emak saya naik semula dan mengejar lori tersebut. Saya pun turut berlari di belakang emak saya kerana takut emak saya melanggar lori itu pula. Pemandu lori itu nampak kami mengejarnya. Dia pun memecut lebih laju iaitu sama dengan kelajuan cahaya. Kami pula terpaksa mengejar dengan lebih laju iaitu sama dengan dua kali ganda kelajuan cahaya. Emak saya dapat menerajang tayar depan lori itu. Lori itu terbabas dan melanggar pembahagi jalan lalu bertembung dengan sebuah feri. Feri itu terbelah dua.

Penumpang feri itu yang seramai 100 orang semuanya mati. Pemandu feri itu sangat marah. Dia pun bertukar menjadi Ultraman dan memfire pemandu lori. Pemandu lori menekan butang khas di dalam lori dia..lori itu bertukar menjadi robot Transformer. Mereka bergaduh di udara. Emak saya tidak puas hati. Dia! pun terus menyewa sebuah helikopter di Genting Highlands dan terus ke tempat kemalangan. Dia melanggar pemandu feri yang telah bertukar menjadi Ultraman itu.

Pemandu feri itu terkejut dan terus bertukar menjadi pemandu feri semula lalu terhempas ke jalanraya. Pemandu feri itu pecah. Pemandu lori sangat takut melihat kejadian itu. Dia meminta maaf dari emak saya. Dia menghulurkan tangan ingin bersalam. Tetapi emak saya masih marah. Dia menyendengkan helikopternya dan mengerat tangan pemandu lori itu dengan kipas helikopter. Pemandu lori itu menjerit "Adoi..!" dan jatuh ke bumi. Emak say menghantar helikopter itu ke Genting Highlands. Bila dia balik ke tempat kejadian, dia terus memukul pemandu lori itu dengan beg tangannya sambil memarahi pemandu lori itu di dalam bahasa Inggeris.

Pemandu lori itu tidak dapat menjawab sebab emak saya cakap orang putih. Lalu pemandu lori itu mati. Tidak lama kemudian kereta polis pun sampai. Dia membuat lapuran ke ibu pejabatnya tentang kemalangan ngeri itu. Semua anggota polis di pejabat polis itu terperanjat lalu mati. Orang ramai mengerumuni tempat kejadian kerana ingin mengetahui apa yang telah terjadi. Polis yang bertugas cuba menyuraikan orang ramai lalu dia menjerit menggunakan pembesar suara. Orang ramai terperanjat dan semuanya mati.

Selepas itu emak saya mengajak saya ke pasar untuk mengelak lebih ramai lagi yang akan mati. Di pasar, emak saya menceritakan kejadian itu kepada penjual daging. Penjual daging dan peniaga-peniaga berhampiran yang mendengar cerita itu semuanya terkejut dan mati. Saya dan emak saya terus berlari balik ke rumah. Kerana terlalu penat sebaik saja sampai di rumah kami pun mati. Itulah kemalangan yang paling ngeri yang pernah saya lihat sebelum saya mati.


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Now for the English version, as translated by Google


Am the morning the week. Weather cold enough to reach freezing point temperature. So I do not shower in the morning because the pits so the water ice and water pipes do not want to leave because of frozen pipes in the... See more trunk. That morning I breakfasted with the family at the bonfire did not hold the cold. After that my mother asked me to accompany him to the market. But I do not want.
After my mother stabbed my stomach repeatedly with a fork then I agreed to accordingly. We walked as far as the market is 120 kilometers located 128 kilometers from home. Another eight kilometers to the market like I saw a truck container with a speed rush from the rear.

He violates my mother. My mother was thrown into the canyon. He shouted "Adoi!". Then my mother and pick up the chase truck. I have also ran behind my mother for fear that my mother is violating trucks. Truck driver saw us chase. He sped over the speed that is equal to the speed of light. We had to catch up with more speed that is equal to twice the speed of light. My mother can menerajang front wheels of the lorry. Chevrolet trucks and violating the median and collided with a ferry. Ferry is split up in two.

Passenger ferry which a total of 100 all died. The ferry was very angry. He turned into Ultraman and memfire truck driver. Truck driver pressing a special button in his truck .. truck is transformed into the robot Transformer. They fight in the air. My mother is not satisfied. He! continues to rent a helicopter in Genting Highlands, and continue to the scene of the accident. He violates the ferry driver turns the Ultraman.

The ferry was shocked and continued to turn the ferry and the driver crashed into the road. The ferry was broken. Truck drivers are afraid to see the incident. He asked forgiveness from my mother. He reaches out to greet. But my mother was still angry. He cut off the hands of tilting helikopternya and truck drivers with helicopter propellers. The lorry driver was shouting "Adoi ..!" and fell to the ground. My mother say to send helicopters to the Genting Highlands. When he returned to the scene, he continued to hit the driver with his hand bag as angry with the driver of the lorry in the English language.

The lorry driver was unable to answer because my mother told white people. Then the truck driver dead. Not long after the police car already arrived. He made the report to the headquarters of the horrific accident. All police officers in the police office was shocked and died. Members of the public around the scene and wanted to know what happened. Police on duty tried to disperse the people and he shouted with loud voice. The public was shocked and all died.

After that my mother asked me to market to prevent more people will die. In the market, my mother told the incident to the butcher. Butchers and traders close to the hear the story are all shocked and died. I and my mother continued to run back into the house. Because they are too tired once we arrived at the house of death. That's the most horrific accident I have ever seen before I die.



Boodyboy, out!!!